...

dah pukul 2pagi.
dah lama tak stay up this late.
lg2 nak surfing.
teringat zaman2 tak tido mlm... melepak wth KJ Club members smpai pagi...was fun! miss those moments.

Kat Tawakal, Humairah admitted due to high fever.
DH balik rumah mlm ni after 3 nites berkampung kat sini with me n our baby.
Mlm ni DH bole balik sbb bibik kitorg smpai ptg td, so she can teman us tonite.
Salah satu sbb aku takleh tido ialah aku takut tido sebilik dgn stranger (bibik la).
Wpun aku rasa dia ok (the 1st impression), tp still aku takmo amik risk.
Mana tau dia psycho ke, kang tgh2 mlm dia bangun cekik aku ke...tu smua lah yg buat aku tk lelap tido and start surfing ni.

Humairah demam sbb ada ulcer kat tekak dia. on Friday masa jumpa Dr Zarin, he said tat and gave us PCM to gv her 4 hourly and ubat masuk kat rectal 6 hourly...monitor bod temp for 24hrs, kalu tak turun2 bwh 38 dtg balik jumpa dia. Dr Zarin ni one doc yg as much as he can tak nak prescribe byk2 ubat to baby lagi2 antibiotic.
So after 24 hrs Humairah makin reruk, tanak mkn, lembik semacam, mata berair and rashes start kluar...ibu mana yg tak sedih tgk anak mcm tu. terus pegi emergency.
Rupa2nya dlm mulut nye dah merah2...kesian sgt... doc on drip and start antibiotic. Tp Humairah purging plak- effect of the antibiotic. Doc said it's the environment... this penyakit sama mcm HFMD, dimana HUmairah collected germs ni dr group of ppl melalui air liur...maybe yg melekat2 kat toys kat nursery dia tu. So doc suggested asingkan Humairah fr the nursery for at least 6 weeks. Memula pening juga, but Alhmdulillah God is great, bibik came to the resque hari ni. Harap2 yg ni ok lah...amin.
Bila Humairah sakit mcm ni, rasa sedih sgt hati. Kdg2 rasa I always wanted the best for her and try my best to provide them. When u r a mother, of coz inilah yg kita nak. Priority dah bertukar. If dulu I spent most of my money on baju, shoes, hair and make ups...now not anymore... semuanya utk a better future for my anak (s) ...hehehe. better environment to help her (and future adik) grow up healthy. Since the old bibik berhenti, and we decided to hantar her to nursery, we chose to hantar her at a place yg betul2 menyenangkan hati, tak kisah if we hv to pay double than standard price. But a nursery is stil a nursery... germs everywhere. I had a tot to send Humairah to a diff nursery, tp atas advise friends, they said mana2 pun sama... flu tu dah jadi mcm package which come together dgn nursery....
Feeding plak, aku berusaha keras memberi breastmilk(bm) sebanyak mungkin, dulu dh ada manual pump, tp always tgn cramp and time consuming, I (and DH) invested in an electric dual pump. Mmg puas hati when I can now bring home 13 to 15 oz (of 2 sessions) and at nite another 5 oz for Humairah's next day bekal.
Kdg2 bila ada suara2 yg menyalahkan aku bila Humairah sakit, it actually hurt me deeply. Ibu mana yg nsanggup nak bg anak sakit? tell me... Put blame on me just because aku tak berpantang, makan sesuka hati tu yg buat Humairah asyik sakit. Sedih sgt, but I can just smile and mcm biasa sabar and anggap, apa yg diorg ckp tu tand diorg sygkan Humairah. For me tehre's no need for me to defend myself. Coz no point... Tat doesnt bring any good to Humairah either...kalau aku defend diri aku Humairah bukan nya boleh baik dr demam diapun.
Pantang for me is very subjective... setiap individu ada pantang masing2 yg kadang really contra with one's pantang. Aku dah buat research dah pasal menda ni masa pregnant dulu. Ada org masa confinement tak boleh mkn daging n ayam, ramai org plak, boleh mkn daging and di galakkan. And mcm2 lagi sbnrnye...so kesimpulan yg aku buat, best is know what best for ur body. Kalau dh badan tu gatal kalu mkn daging dont eat daging, eat lah ayam n ikan.
Samalah mcm makanan or minuman yg kita amik bila kita menyusu badan. Mcm minum ais... kalau tak bf pun tak bagus minum ais, and I dont drink cold everyday except for majlis2 tertentu. Tp masa majlis2 yg aku minum ais tu lah dijadikan basis aku tak jaga mkn which tat was the reason Humairah asyik sakit2.
Perlu ke aku nak cerita, kat rumah aku, wpun fridge lg tinggi dr yours truly, I dont keep water in it? Everytime nak minum aku masak air n campur dgn air kosong so tat air tu jd suam, baru best tekak aku ni.
Perlu ke aku nak cerita, at ofc we hv a group of BF mother yg berlumba2 n bersusah payah mencuri masa nak express bm, and we share tips how to produce more milk. Everyday at ofc aku minum at least 4 - 5 tumble of warm water. 2 times of quacker oat + milo. and a mug of instant longan and red dates tea. Tak ke bunyi nye sgt healthy?
Utk apa semua tu? Bukan ke utk makesure Humairah dpt yg terbaik? Supaya Humairah build a strong antibodi semulajadi so tat bole lawan segala penyakit yg dia dpt kat nursery tu.
Perlu ke aku nak cerita yg as much as I could, sejak I intro sold to Humairah I cook her food myself. Gunakan bahan2 semulajadi tanpa bahan pengawet :). Balik keja, solat maghrib, tak mandi ... dgn baju keja aku masak utk anak tercinta...bg dia mkn dulu, then baru aku buat menda lain...
Kalau tak fikir nak bg Humairah sihat, I can always buy segala mcm makanan dlm tin n feed her, tak lah penat sgt...but those canned food semua ada pengawet to make them last longer. I even make home made apple, banana and mango puree for my baby.
Of course sedih sgt bila heard ppl said, I am the one who tak jaga mkn and tats why Humairah selalu sakit. Sedih sgt2. Yes, I am a first time mother, and I dont hv much experience and knowledge about babycare...but I do read Miriam Stopard's and I do check on BabyCenter everyday...EVERYDAY to learn and learn and never stop learning. I keep asking question when I see Dr Zarin. I remember the 1st question I asked when I met him d 1st time is what are the things I cant take as a bf mother. And I dont ask for fun...u know wat i mean...
Ada juga org marah aku bawa Humairah kluar mlm2, or balik mlm2... berembun... do I hv a choice? Tell me... If I were like others...ada bibik or ada org nak jaga Humairah kat rumah... kan bagus. Aku pun tanak bawa anak ke sana ke sini...esp ke kenduri kawin, sbb she is so small to appreciate those memorable moments...dia sepatutnya mendapat rehat yg cukup kat umah.. to develop her brain.
Apa2pun, by letting go the feelings by writing them here is more than satisfying. Byk hati yg nak dijaga... although sometimes ppl dont seem to care about my feelings.
Its ok... do the right things right...i'll be happy.

apa yg u tak suka...

This morning, in the car, while DH was driving and complaining about the slow Honda, and I was holding Humairah in my arms, I made a statement to DH, with an intention to let him know this...

Me: Syg, u ni memang baik hati...lembut... dan segala2nya best lah, tp kan ada 2 things dlm dunia ni yg akan buat u bertukar menjadi monster... monster yg paling I menyampah sekali dlm dunia.

DH: Apa dia?

Me: One- while u r driving and the traffic is bad or ada apa2 yg membuatkan u lambat. No.2 bila you sinuse...bersin tak berhenti2. Betul tak?

DH: Hehehehe...

Me: I plak?

DH: Apa dia?...u plak apa?

Me: Ye lah, bila yg u rasa I akan bertukar menjadi monster? Perkara apa?

DH: Oooo u mean things yg akan buat u marah?

Me: Ha'ah.

DH: Hmmmm...ntah lah sayang, I rasa u sama je...all d time pon marah...hehehehe...

Me: :P Kurang Asam...

hmmm actually wpun DH bergurau, I kind of accept the fact tat I am getting more cranky towards him nowadays. Tak boleh salah sikit... padahal he's the closest person, the one who loves me the most, suami yg sgt rajin dan sgt understanding. Knapa ek kita slalu nak hurt org yg paling syg and rapat dgn kita? I have no intention to do that. In fact every second I pray for our love to become stronger day by day. He's in the toplist of my everything, my prayers, my life. Hmmm...I came into a conclusion that mmg its a norm kita prone to hurt org yg kita syg more compared to others sbb:-

1- kita nak attention. a.k.a nak mengada2 n manja2 lebih sket. dr nak merajuk or ngengada sikit sometimes terover, terus kita akan terkeluar kata2 or buat perkara2 yg akan hurt dia.

2- kita terlalu care pasal dia sampai segala yg dia buat kita nak he does it perfectly (as per our definition of perfect) and when he slipped (or buat tak ikut cara kita), kita akan cpt nak marah.

3- Kita lalai... kita lupa yg kita kena sentiasa jaga hati dia lebih dr segala2nya sbb dia org yg sgt kita syg.

From these 3 reasons, when i read back, baru i realized that actually, key point nye ialah...words yg kluar dr mulut kita....apa2 pun reason, kita merajuk ke, kita care ke, bila kita nak tegur dia atau merajuk dgn dia, kita kena tapis ayat2 kita...and tapis intonasi kita.
Kalau betul kita syg kan seseorang, mesti kita boleh ckp baik2 kan? Malaysia Boleh! Saya pun boleh!!!
:) :) :)

Notes on Humairah's development.

1- She has strong support of her head since birth. The tulang belulang all very strong and actually she already started stretching he legs and hands when she was still in my belly (esp during the 6th to 8th mth when she was strong enuf and still have much space to dance in there).

2- At about 2 months she gurgles and coos... bukan sikit2 tp becok sangat! Dah 2bulan lebih sikit, dia borak baby talk dgn kita siap ketawa2 lagi...

3- at 2.5mths she started to flip (meniarap...)and when lying on her tummy she can hold her head steadily and can lift his head and shoulders sambil goyang2 kaki (mcm nak berenang). i witnessed her 1st meniarap through our 3G eye. Our maid resigned b4 i started working (after cnfinmnt) so sementara nak dpt alternative me & DH gilir2 cuti jaga Humairah. When DH jaga Humairah, I dial up our 3Geye to see what's happening at home. Tiba2 I saw Humairah meniarap dgn susah payah nak angkat kepala yg dah terjerumus kat tilam lepas dia berjaya memusingkan badan... I was so shocked and panic terus call my DH. Rupa2nya DH kat dapur tgh nak masak air, terus pegi tgk Humairah...and he actually dengar Humairah bersuara mcm bersusah payah, mcm meneran2 gitu...rupa2nya cubaan meniarap. I tot its a fast one...2.5mths dah meniarap... ni gambar Humairah meniarap - among the attempts masa memula blajar lah...

4- At 3mths she started rolling over... and she started to having flu every now and then...4months plus she was admitted kat Tawakal and kena go trough suction and nebulizer...kesian sgt...ni gambar kat hospital...

5- I started intro her solid food when she reaches 5 months, sbb susu seemed never enough for her. She was exclusively breastfed fr birth till 3 months, lepas raya, terpaksa campur coz Humairah refused to have frozen bm. tak sedap kot...puas dah paksa... so membazir je berpuluh2 oz i stocked up during confinement. bila 4 mths plus mcm dah tak cukup2 minum susu esp at night, pada hal siang at least 12oz bm plus 6 to 8 oz formula dia minum, so Mama pun advised to try solid on her... her 1st bite was farleys biscuit campur bm... :) dia marah2 coz lambat sangat dia nak telan sbb kaedah menyudu agak lambat compare to minum susu...ni gambar dia trying theething biscuit, on her 1st day of solid food...and also a recent photo of her makan bubur sampai comot... she really enjoy makan...

6- She started crawling steadily at 5.5mths. Abis satu rumah dia explore....

7- 6months ngam2 dia tumbuh gigi...gigi bawah...a week after that tumbuh satu lg gigi...yeay!!! patut lah she demam and merengek ngada2 everynight a week before that...ni gambar nak tunjuk gigi but cannot see larrr...

8- Now at 6 months plus dia dah start nak berdiri, now dah pakai walker yg Bank Muamalat bg masa birth...Humairah paling suka nak bergayut kat tv rack, so we dont dare to leave her alone in front of the tv anymore...kitorg buka balik playpen yg dah bungkus hari tu and put her in there while we solat or bz at the kitchen...tp kejap je lah, dia senyap playing wth her toys like 3 mins then menjerit2 minta keluar.... ni gambar2 si kecik in her playpen....

ahhhhh lega.... dah siap buat notes ni...dr dulu nak buat sbb takut lupa...so tats for birth to 6mths development. for 7mth to 12th mth tatau lah lagi , kan.... :)

to humairah, awak buat ibu jadi rajin dan lebih responsible dan lebih sensitive and lebih byk membebel...hahahhaha....u have changed me sayang. ibu sayang humairah sangat2...

to abah humairah, although i asyik membebel lately, u hv to know tat u r the best! kalau ada pertandingan suami terbaik, u mesti menang no 1. love u so much...